When we got the telegram from Caseme Arvore's public relations office, we were floored. After months of requests, the Empress, Her Eternal Radiance Eris II had agreed to allow our cameras to photograph her sultry daughter and heir Vala in her own treehouse. We were concerned that Her Eternal Radiance had growing disdain for our glossy periodical after three months of shockingly revealing photoshoots with some of the Islands' loveliest women. She had even commissioned a derogatory editorial in the Carniville Barker, one of the Islands' two daily newspapers, assailing our editor and board for allowing the magazine to, in her words, "degrade what once was a fine publication with prurient images of grotesquely shaped harlequin girls."

So why would she suddenly allow us to not only photograph one of her minions, but her chosen heir?

When we arrived at the lower cabins of the vast complex of treehouses in the swampy southern jungle of Carniville Island, the whispers we heard made the answer clear. Her Eternal Radiance, it seems, while publicly aghast at our change in direction, wanted our readers and the world to know, that the "real beauty" of Carnipelago was still to be found in her tribe, and who else to prove that than her gorgeous princess and daugher, Vala.

As expected, when we first met Vala, she was confrontational, just as she had been in our behind-the-scenes shoot in the Tramptastic dressing room back in February.

"So," she sneered, "You're finally here to see what sexy really means."

An odd comment, to be sure, but intriguing. What was she planning to show us.

"Oh, I'm here to knock your fucking socks off."